So Grateful

Last night was a bad night for me. I just kind of had a melt down, and I'm not really sure why. Too much stress, not enough sleep, and malnourishment from being sick probably. I was stuck in a rut and felt lonely, even though Seth was there with me. It a really tough time and I couldn't get myself together. When we got into bed, I was still really upset. Seth asked me if I would like a blessing. 

We got out of bed and he sat me down to give me the blessing. It was incredible. It was so powerful and we both ended up in tears. The words were exactly what I needed to hear. The counsel from my Father in Heaven was so personally fitted to my situation that it was overwhelming. I learned what I need to do be comforted and help myself grow. 

After the blessing, I thanked Seth. He said, "It wasn't me." I knew it wasn't. Some of the things he said could not have come from him. He is my husband and knows me better than anyone, but some things he said touched deeper parts of me that I don't think he has come to understand yet. Only someone who knew me completely and better than myself could see and understand those parts of me. 

I told him, "I know. But thank you for being able to." I cannot express how thankful I am to be married to such a man. Not only is he good in everything he does and loves me ridiculous amounts, he has made sure he is worthy to hold the priesthood. I don't know how to explain how good it feels to have that power in my home.

I could probably ramble on a lot more, trying to explain how it feels and how happy it has made me. I will simply end by expressing my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for loving me so individually and for blessing me with a husband who can help me see that love, and stay by my side as we work to be with Him again someday.

*amber*

Singin' in the Rain!

This morning, I woke up to the pitter patter of rain on outside our bedroom window. Immediately, I was in a perfect mood.

I've mentioned before that I love rain. Of course there are those days when it is supposed to be sunny and the rain just puts a damper (no pun intended) on everything. Today was NOT one of those days. I heard the rain outside and got out of bed, excited for a perfect rainy day. 

Yesterday, I was stuck in the house all day. I was sick and just felt gross all day. For some reason, a rainy day feels like just what I need today. Freshen things up and cozy up with a book while I finish recovering.

As I walked around the house, I discovered that Seth had almost completely finished unpacking and organizing our house after I went to bed. There were boxes everywhere last night, and when I woke up, POOF! They were gone. He's such an amazing man. 

I decided to make him something special for breakfast. French toast. He always seems to want that for breakfast. (Shortly after that, I realized there wasn't enough time and I needed to get him up if he was going to make it to work.) As I was walking around the kitchen, trying to get breakfast together, a song popped into my head. "Doodle doo doo doo di doodle doo doo di doodle doo.... I'm SINGIN' in the rain..."

Which always ends up turning into "I'm dancin' in the rain!" I'm a dancer. Not much of a singer. So I've changed the song to fit me.

* * *

Flashback:

This song now pops into my head a bit more than it used to. It all started last Summer. My roommate Briana asked me to be in the play Singin' in the Rain with her. It was such a fun experience! I'd never been in a musical before so I definitely learned a lot. I even learned how to sing properly... a little bit :)

I  loved performing again. I hadn't danced for over a year and I was craving the spotlight again. Strange because I'm so shy, but I do miss the stage. (I did get to dance quite a bit too because I was one of the dancer girls.)

I also loved trying to create my own character. We do this in dance too, but you express yourself much differently in dance. In theater, you have to act more like that person really would... which was interesting to figure out. Especially a person from a different era. 

And I love the 1920s :)

 All the dancer girls in our "Beautiful Girl" costumes

 Flappers with Don and Cosmo

We got to tap a little bit! YAY!

Fun backstage between Acts.

I had such a fun experience with this. But it did take a TON of my time. Which was a little hard because I was also trying to put together a wedding... and Seth hated that I was gone for rehearsals so much. Alas, that will probably be my first, and last, play. I'm not too crushed... not really sure it's quite my thing. But it was definitely a lot of fun to try. I'm glad I can say I've had that experience now. 

* * *

On that same note, ever since being in the play, I have gained a new appreciation for the music. I always loved the movie, especially Gene Kelly, but now I feel more of a personal connection with it.

Which is why I loved this SO much when my coworker showed it to me. Enjoy!

*amber*

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Yesterday we finished cleaning out our old apartment. We brought the rest of our stuff to our new house and scrubbed til the old one was sparkling clean for the new tenants.

I have to admit, there were a few days there where I was really sad to be moving. When we first moved in to our old house, it was really gross... even the paint colors were HORRIBLE. Poop brown for the bedroom, poop green for the living room, dark dark purple for the kitchen, and old orange tile in the bathroom. No exaggerations. We did a lot to fix the apartment up. Eventually, we got it to feel like home. As little and old as it was, I grew to like the poor-chic charm of our apartment.

Ever since we moved in, I've regretted not taking before and after pictures. Because really, it was nasty. Now, I wish I had a least taken after pictures. But I never did. 

 

As we were moving out, I got really sad and sentimental and wished I had gone through and taken lots of pictures or something so we'd have a record of the first place we lived after we got married... I'm still a little sad I didn't do that. I waited until it was too late. So now, all I have are the pictures we took so we could post the apartment on Craigslist. Not very good, the house is messy, they don't show every room, and we've already started packing a little so things aren't set up like they usually were. Sigh... oh well. I'll have to let it go. 

Goodbye old house.

Now... Hello new house! 

True, I will miss our old place. Mainly because it was our first place. But it is now time to move on. And I'm ready. Our new house is wonderful. MUCH more space. 

Things that make our new house SO much better:

Walking distance to campus. Covered parking. Close to lots of our friends. BIG kitchen!!! (Look at the kitchen picture above. That's pretty much the whole kitchen.) Closet space. Cheaper rent and utilities. No popcorn ceiling. Neutral paint on the walls. 

Only downsides so far:

The shower is a bit small. And the apartment is always really cold... but that will be good in the Summer right?

Yes, I love our new places. There are still boxes everywhere and it's more like we're camping than really living in a house at this point, but I already feel so much more at home here. There is just a good vibe in this house. It's a good feeling :)

So now, I'll take a deep breath, and dive into setting up our new life here.

:)

*amber*

What is Love?

It's Monday morning. The first morning of our summer. Seth will start his new job today and I will hopefully start some of my exciting projects I have planned this summer. It is 7am and I am awake. Why? I don't know. My body has liked to wake up early lately... of course it couldn't have done that when I had work and school at 8 every morning. 

Yesterday was such a good day. We went to our new ward and we think it will be a good fit. Everyone there is so friendly. And it's a married student ward. We've been in a family ward since we've been married and we liked it, but it's hard to stay involved when you're a busy college student. In this new ward, we're all kind of in the same situation.




* * *




Anyway, in Relief Society yesterday, we talked about the Book of Mormon. Our teacher made the comment that testimonies of children can be the most simple an profound. She read us the testimonies she has asked her three younger sisters to write. They were beautiful.


I kept thinking about that throughout the day. I've always been a sucker for those "from the mouths of babes" things. But it made me want to go out and ask little kids to share their testimonies with me.


* * *


When we got home from church, I got on the computer had this new email from my sister. I usually HATE Forwards, but this one was perfect.

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to
8 year-olds,

'What does love mean?'
 

Here are the answers:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8


'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4


'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5


'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6


'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4


'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7


'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and
Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8


'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.'
Bobby - age 7


'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend
who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6


'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.'
Noelle - age 7


'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6


'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked
at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8


'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6


'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7


'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4


'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4


'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little
stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6


'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one:

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

It's the age-old question. What is love to you?

This week, show someone you love them. It's not in the chocolate or flowers or expensive dinners by candlelight. It's in the simple, everyday things. And these children realized that. 

And if you are struggling to understand one of life's great questions, ask a child. They have a lot to teach us if we'll listen. 

*amber*

I'm back!

I know, I know, I keep saying that. But now I really am. At least, now I don't have as many excuses. I finished my finals Monday morning. So I should be free right? Well... not exactly. See... we have some news. We're Moving! Well actually... pretty much all moved now.

We also took care of my brother and sister this last week while my parents were on a cruise. Every day, we woke up in Sandy, got the kids off the school, drove to Provo, went to work, worked on moving, then drove back up to Sandy for the night. Crazy week. We haven't really gotten much else done.

Now that I've given you my excuses, I need to go get ready for church. More about the move later.

*amber*

Finally...

Finally putting up the pictures from our trip to Saint George.  (Click if they're too small to see. They were too big to show up all the way.)

We left Provo right as a big snow storm was blowing in and headed South. We enjoyed the warm(ish) weekend at dance competitions, shopping, swimming, and just relaxing. So nice...

Sunday, before we headed home, we had a picnic on the lawn in  front of the Saint George Temple. It was a beautiful day so we took lots of pictures. 

I love this temple. It's so beautiful. And the trees had blossoms which we didn't have at home yet, (we do now) so I went a little photo crazy.

Wow. It really is stunning.

We had fun taking some goofy pictures. 

And got some of the crazy people driving home with us. The girls on the right are my sister Alyse, and her friends Korin and Lexi who I teach. Those girls are INSANE! And a 5 hour car ride with them... well, it was an adventure. 

They also got a kick out of seeing us kiss. They saw us kiss once and started screaming and acting grossed out. So naturally, we did it again. Then they kept yelling "Don't kiss again!" because they wanted us to. Hahaha, oh little girls. You have to love them.

By the end of the day, they had completely worn me out. Whew!

What a lovely day. And now, Spring is finally coming to Provo! The trees are starting to bloom and I've gone two days without wearing a jacket to school! Ah, happy day. 

:)

*amber*

Finals Ninja

Whoosh.....

* * *

Did you see me?

Didn't think so. That's how stealthy I am. Only two finals left. 

Tonight I will smoothly debilitate my Doctrine and Covenants final with merely a touch to the right nerve. And tomorrow, I will flying roundhouse kick my Italian final in the face. All before they even saw it coming.

* * *

Um... this week really needs to end...

*the finals ninja*

Simple Summer Snack

I am so ready for Summer food. Fresh fruits and vegetables straight from the gardenr. No more heavy, thick comfort foods. Creative salads. Yes, my body is ready for it. I'm already craving Summer food.

Unfortunately, Spring hasn't quite his Provo. It's gotten close a few times and we can definitely sense it coming. And then Mother Nature will say "Just Kidding!" and plop us right back in the middle of winter. Come on Spring... I want to start growing our own tomatoes, green beans, and fresh basil.

Even though Summer's not here yet, and the days are still pretty chilly, (even when it's sunny) I was really craving Summery food yesterday, so I whipped up this simple little concoction with leftovers from our fridge. Mmmmm... totally hit the spot. 

Below are my easy step-by-step instructions. Follow carefully, this can be a complex recipe... (haha not at all. That's what I love about Summer food. So simple and so packed with flavor)

Here's what you do:

• Take out a tortilla (would also be really good with a whole wheat one, but we just had plain ol' flour ones)
• Spread fat-free cream cheese all over the tortilla
• Lay slices of turkey sandwich meat in a circle so they cover most of the tortilla (I used about 5-6 slices)
• Cut about 1/3 cucumber into paper-thin slices
• Lay the cucumbers on the turkey
• Sprinkle with feta cheese
• Roll tightly into a wrap
• If desired for an appetizer, cut into slices and seal closed with toothpicks
• Enjoy! 

 Random, but just thought I would share. Come on Summer! (or Spring would work too...)

*Sigh*

*amber*

Way to Go! Idaho!

I've mentioned before that Seth and I were able to take some mini-trips recently. It has been so nice because school and work tend to wear us down. If we didn't find these little ways to relax and rejuvenate, I'm sure we would be burned out by now. Provo is great and has its own unique quirkiness, but sometimes it's so nice to get away.

The first trip we got to take was to Idaho to see Seth's sister Heather who just had a baby!

I'd like to introduce you to our newest niece, Hailey Darlene Leavitt! Here she is with mommy Heather

And daddy Ryan.

Seth's mom came down from Washington for a few days so we got to spend some time with her too. It was so nice. We really miss our family up there.

And we got to hold the baby a little bit too! She was so sweet.

(Don't mind my fat cheeks, I had my wisdom teeth out two days before.)

We also got to play with our adorable nieces Elaina and McKenzie. They are just little balls of energy! And they've grown up so much since the last time we saw the. Last time we came to visit, Elaina was playful but Kenzie was just a quiet baby. She's still pretty quiet most of the time but she has turned into a real little toddler and loves to play and be silly with her big sister. Elaina has developed a love for singing since last time. She dances around the house singing random songs that she makes up at the top of her lungs. Sounds just like me when I was little :)

Both of them love their new little sister and try to take good care of her. Even if they don't quite realize that they can't be quite as rough with her as they are with each other. They're learning.

And here are all the girls. Thanks so much to Heather and Ryan for putting up with us for the weekend. It was great to see our family again.

We also got to spend the nights at Aunt Julie and Uncle Ron's house so I got to meet some more extended family. That's one thing that I love about married life. It's so much fun to meet new relatives and be accepted into a wonderful family. I really lucked out when it came to my inlaws :)

This trip was such a relief for us. School was really starting to get us down but as soon as we left, we relaxed. We spent the weekend stress-free (which may have had something to do with the fact that Heather and Ryan don't have internet so we couldn't work on homework) and felt so relaxed by the time we got home. 

While we were on the road, we listened to a book on tape of a fantasy book Seth liked when he was a kid. It was so fun to enjoy the simplicity of a children's novel again. I loved spending the weekend next to my husband, laughing enjoying free time together. 

* * *

This trip was great for another reason. It was one year ago (or close to it anyway) that Seth and I decided to make a spontaneous trip to Idaho. (I've  included pictures from the trip too.)

We had just started dating a couple weeks before. It was nearing the end of the semester and (just like this year) we just needed a change of scene. We were talking one day and Seth mentioned that it would be fun to go up to Idaho to visit his sister and her family. And the rest of his family would be there too on their way to Utah. He was really joking about the idea, but I jumped at it. I thought it would be so much fun to go on a mini road trip. So the next day, we packed our bags and drove up to Idaho. 

On the car ride there, we were able to talk for a long time. Our conversation turned to relationship matters and we both expressed our opinions openly. This is when I feel we really started to understand each other and what we wanted in this life. 

Saturday morning, we spent the day playing with the girls. We played monsters with Elaina. At one point, Seth and Elaina were the monsters and they chased me into the kitchen where they backed me into the corner. I was acting terrified so Elaina looked up at me and innocently said, "It's ok!" Seth's head dropped and he started laughing. It was just too cute. Then as he was taking her back into the living room, she turned to him and said, "She doesn't like you." We both cracked up and still quote that to this day. What a sweet girl.

Throughout the day, I was able to watch Seth roll around on the floor with Elaina and hold Kenzie and make her laugh. It was then that I first realized how much I really liked him. I didn't know it then, but that may have been when I first realized I loved him. It just hit me that this was the kind of man I wanted to spend the rest of forever with.

Later that evening, the rest of Seth's family got in so I got to meet his Mom, Dad, and younger brother Kyle and Jordan. I noticed right away how open they were to me and what a loving family they were. I admit, I was nervous to meet the family, but it was a good experience once it happened.

On the way home, Seth and I talked some more and, because it was getting late and would be Sunday soon, we decided to listen to church music. We spent the next couple hours filling the car with the Mormon Tabernacle choir and singing at the top of our lungs. Funny as it might sound, it was one of the most romantic things I've ever done. (Just one of them. Seth is quite the romantic. And not in the cheesy movie way.) We also stopped for a minute to look at all the stars. The sky was perfectly clear and it was beautiful.

That night when we got home, Seth told me he loved me for the first time. I didn't respond because I didn't want to say it unless I knew I truly loved him too. It was ok because he didn't think he was going to tell me and he thought I didn't hear, so he acted like it didn't happen. (I told him I loved him too a few days later, once I had realized what I felt for him.)

That trip is full of special memories for me. Another fun part of going to Idaho this year was thinking back to that time and remembering how nervous we were, yet how comfortable we felt with each other.

Seth, I love you too.

*amber*

The Madness of March

As the title of this post would suggest, March was a mad month for us. I am not referring to basketball in any way. I'm thinking more mad like this: 

Did you see this movie?? We loved it!!! I love Tim Burton. And Johnny Depp. He's so talented (but no, I do not find him attractive... yuck. Yes captain Jack is cool, but he's gross.)

It was more like that kind of mad. Crazy, twisted, out of control mad. As Alice said in the 1951 classic, "Nothing [was] what it [was] because everything [was] what it [wasn't]. And contrary-wise; what it [was] wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" 

Now do you get it? ... Ok so maybe March wasn't quite that mad. Mainly it was just super busy. But that was how it felt at times.

So because of all this madness, I have not had much time to update this blog. But because March was so busy, I have many things that need to be put on this blog. So I will start now and see how far I get. The posts will go by topic because if I did it all at once, this post would go on forever. I'm going to try the short (haha... right. I never write anything short) and sweet approach.

One thing that got me through March was hanging out with friends. We try to have a game night every week with Seth's old missionary companion and roommate Brenton and his wife Sabrina. They had us over for Sunday dinner one week and they made amazing Japanese food. We were in charge of dessert so I made this cake:

I've never made a real homemade cake before, so it was an experience. It was called Best Ever Chocolate Fudge Layer Cake and it was made with chocolate pudding so the cake was really moist and fudgey. The frosting was homemade too - basically just melted whipped cream and chocolate... for some reason it didn't really thicken like it was supposed to so it sort of dripped down the cake. But it was delicious nonetheless. 

Since getting married, I have realized that I really enjoy cooking and baking. It is such a stress reliever for me. 

* * *

In other news, we might be getting a table soon! Our apartment is so small that there isn't really room for a dining table. We have a drop leaf table in the kitchen that seats the two of us and that's it. We've been wanting a table for awhile so we can have people over for dinner, but so far it hasn't happened. It would have to be something that can fold down and be stored away when we're not using it. I found one that I think should work on craigslist for free! So now we just have to find a way to get up to Salt Lake before someone else takes it.

So friends and family, you may start expecting dinner invites any day now :) I hope. Fingers crossed.

* * *

I am also excited to get a table so we can have parties and have somewhere to put the food. When Alice came out, I wanted to have a Mad Hatter party where everyone would wear crazy hats and we'd celebrate our un-birthdays by eating cake and tea. Not real tea of course. As Elder Holland said this last conference, "You shouldn't be serving tea anyway." Hahaha, I couldn't stop laughing when he said that.

And of course, I would have the tea (herbal and other delicious beverages) all over the table in a random assortment of miniature tea sets. Which, conveniently, I collect! I have a bit of an obsession with tea sets. Which may explain these pictures: 

They are some of my favorite bridal shots. Which I had taken, guess where... at the Beehive Tearoom in Salt Lake!

* * *

I would like to take this time to apologize for the scatterbrainededness of this post. Now maybe you'll understand how mad I have become from this last month. My brain now travels a bajillion miles per hour. Hopefully writing everything out will act as a sort of therapy and get my mind straightened out. Hopefully.

*amber*